HOW TO SELF LOVE

Gold Coast Blogger Jeskaalee

"BE HAPPY NOT BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS GOOD, BUT BECAUSE YOU CAN SEE THE GOOD IN EVERYTHING".


Gold Coast Blogger Jeskaalee

AT TIMES IN OUR LIVES BEING HAPPY CAN SOMETIMES BE A TRICKY TASK DEPENDING ON WHAT IS GOING ON IN OUR WORLD AND WHAT IS AFFECTING OUR MIND & BEING. I KNOW MYSELF, DESPITE NOT WANTING DIFFERENT THINGS TO GET ME DOWN, I CAN LET THINGS AFFECT MY HAPPINESS DEPENDING ON MY CURRENT MOOD OR SURROUNDINGS AND THIS CAN SET ME BACK.

I BELIEVE IT IS TOTALLY NORMAL TO BE AFFECTED BY OUR SURROUNDINGS, PEOPLE & YES EVEN THE WEATHER. WE ALL HAVE SIMILARITIES AND WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENCES AS OUR MINDS ARE ALL DESIGNED DIFFERENTLY AND WE CAN ALL REACT SIMILARLY TO DIFFERENCE SITUATIONS.

SO WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY IS THAT IT IS OKAY TO FEEL UNHAPPY SOMETIMES, DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP AS IT IS HUMAN NATURE! BUT THE KEY IS REALISING WHY WE ARE FEELING THAT WAY IS ASSESSING THE PROBLEM AND FIXING IT BY COMING TO TERMS WITH IT TO BRING OUR HAPPY BACK!

BRINGING HAPPY BACK! - TODAY I HAVE A FEW TIPS I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH YOU TO HELP BRING YOUR HAPPY BACK!

#1 TALK IT OUT: WE ALL NEED HELP SOMETIMES & IT IS MORE THAN OKAY TO ASK FOR HELP WHETHER IT BE ASKING A FRIEND, YOUR MUM, SOMEONE YOU WORK WITH OR A PROFESSIONAL. GETTING THINGS OFF OUR CHEST & OUT OF OUR MIND IS REALLY HELPFUL AND GETTING ADVICE FROM SOMEONE CAN HELP TO REALISE THAT WHAT IS BOTHERING YOU MAY NOT BE SO BAD OR HELP YOU TO UNDERSTAND WHY YOU ARE FEELING THAT WAY AND HOW TO RESOLVE THOSE FEELINGS.

#2 BE POSITIVE: I KNOW IT IS NOT ALWAYS POSSIBLE TO BE POSITIVE ALL THE TIME BUT IF YOU CHANGE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT SOMETHING THAN YOUR THOUGHTS OF THAT THING WILL CHANGE. TURN YOUR UNHAPPY OR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AROUND AND FOCUS ON THE POSITIVES, THE THINGS YOU ARE THANKFUL/GRATEFUL FOR IN LIFE AND THINK OF A WAY YOU CAN CREATE A POSITIVE OUTLOOK OF THE SITUATION.

#3 DON'T WORRY: WORRYING NEVER, EVER HELPS ANYONE..IT GENERALLY MAKES THINGS FEEL A LOT WORSE THAN THEY MAY BE IN REALITY. REPEAT TO YOURSELF "WHATEVER WILL BE, WILL BE".

#4 BE HEALTHY: WHAT YOU EAT HAS A DIRECT AFFECT ON YOUR MOOD AND ON YOUR ENERGY LEVELSSOME OF US CAN TURN TO EATING BAD FOOD (YEP IVE BEEN THERE!). EATING POORLY CAN MAKE US HAPPY IN THE MOMENT..BUT ITS NOT A LONG TERM THING. THIS THEN LEADS TO FEELING EVEN MORE UNHAPPY BECAUSE WE'VE JUST EATEN BAD FOOD. ALTHOUGH IT'S COMFORT IN THE MOMENT YOU ARE EATING IT, IT WON'T MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER IN THE LONG RUN. EATING WELL MAKES YOU FEEL A LOT BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF MENTALLY NOT JUST PHYSICALLY.

#5 JUMP AROUND: EXERCISING DAILY NOT ONLY HELPS TO PURIFY THE BODY, BUT IT ALSO RELEASES ENDORPHINS THAT ARE GREAT TO PREVENT STRESS, RELIEVE DEPRESSION AND LIFT YOUR MOOD. IF YOU PREFER NOT TO JUMP AROUND AS SUCH TRY A WALK ON THE BEACH IN THE FRESH AIR OR SOME YOGA TO CALM YOUR MIND AND BODY. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS TO GET YOUR BODY MOVING, DOING WHATEVER EXERCISE WORKS BEST FOR YOU.

#6 SHARE LOVE: REMEMBER WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN STRUGGLES & SOMETIMES HELPING SOMEONE ELSE IN NEED OF SOME LOVE AND CARE CAN ASSIST IN MAKING US FEEL BETTER. GIVE SOMEONE A HUG, LEND AN EAR, HELP A STRANGER OR SHARE A SMILE AND MAKE SOMEONE ELSE'S DAY. IT FEELS REALLY GREAT TO BE DOING SOMETHING FOR OTHERS AND BRINGING JOY TO SOMEONES DAY, EVEN IF ITS ONE PERSON YOU ARE CONTRIBUTING TO.

Gold Coast Blogger Jeskaalee

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VALUING YOURSELF

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"IF YOU DONT STAND FOR SOMETHING YOU WILL FALL FOR ANYTHING". - MALCOM X


Do YOU struggle to be yourself? Do you find it hard to value yourself? Do you follow the crowd?

Today I want to speak about breaking free from those titles and becoming true to you and valuing yourself for all that you are!

I believe to value yourself and value your beliefs is detrimental in living a life of truth. If we are going through our days trying to please others and only doing or acting the way others think we should act we would be devaluing ourselves, becoming a so-called sheep and not being true to ourself. I believe we all need to learn the best ways to not follow the crowd and not do what we think others want us to do; as that is blocking us from being our true, genuine or honest selves.

Over the years I have built myself up and learnt to stand up for what I believe in and not allow myself to get manipulated into being what someone else believes I should be. This has meant removing myself from certain friendships, relationships and situations in my world. The positive that I have I've always taken away is that doing those things has always been for the better. Despite at the time it was tough I knew it was the right thing to do. I'm all about those gut feelings that twist and turn and niggle me and I know something isn't right when I feel that way. That is usually a sign to me that I need to take a look at the situation and find the best ways for me to move forward from those feelings.

Some important things to remember when valuing yourself and they key tools I have found for myself are:
-  never comparing yourself to someone else
- embrace your mistakes and learn from them
- take opportunities to develop yourself
- never let someone else's view of you define you (that is their projection)
- share your journey with people you trust to let you be yourself and always stick to your dig.

Removing negativity and bad influences isn't always as easy as treating say the flu (if only) but it's not impossible it just takes strength and a willingness to stand up for yourself and what you believe in.

Please note: You are you and there is no one in the the world youer than you (thanks Dr. Zeuss youve always known what's up!!)

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I AM THE CHANGE

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I recently made a very conscious decision to take control of my Anxiety and Depression and I want to speak to you all openly about it. Mental health is something that is still not spoken about openly by so many struggling with it because to some of us it has been engrained as a weakness. I believe that is bullshit (excuse the naughty word). We are all on our individual journeys and the majority of us at some point in our lives will hit some speed bumps that throw us right off track smacking us down on our arses. It can feel really crappy, it can makes us feel useless, horrible, sad, over-think the crap out of stuff and just going around in circles with all that and just end we up in a big fat rut.

This post is about sharing my journey with you in the hopes you may see the light like I have as you are not alone! 

The main thing we need to grasp about mental health is taking control and grabbing life by the you know whats and making it better for ourselves. There is help out there and in so many different forms but the first step is asking for it. Speaking truthfully I have struggled with my mental health for over 10 years..yep that's since high school. I saw a psychologist a few years ago now that gave me some helpful tips and taught me about what I was going through but it didn't completely fix me as such and that helplessness feeling came back just a month or so ago and my world felt like it was falling apart. 

I hit rock bottom with my self esteem and self worth, I didn't love myself and I didn't want to get out of bed in the mornings, I didn't enjoy my days and then I lost and hurt people I loved because I was so angry inside. Something clicked in me that if I don't start to make things better for myself I am just going to continue down a very destructive path which just wasn't me.

I had someone reach out to me about a 30 program.. my initial thoughts were "that's not going to help me". But I had a mull over it for a day and thought if I don't take action and try something new I will continue to feel the way that I felt which freaking sucked.

When I began the I Am The Change (Wake Me Up) Leadership program I was quite reserved, nervous, scared and felt out of my comfort zone.. but to be honest I think that was the best thing and the thing I really needed was just that.. to get out of my comfort zone. It taught me things about myself and what I was capable of and allowed me to get a better understanding of why I feared things and why I felt and did the things that I did/do. Learning about how the mind and body works was incredibly eye opening and I learnt things about my own mind that I never knew I was capable of (to learn is to grow!).

As the program went on I started to come out of my shell (yup just like a turtle) and be more comfortable with myself and the things I was feeling and learning to just feel them. I have started to turn my negative thoughts into positive ones with new ways of viewing things. 

I want to share this program with you all as it has been a life changing experience for me and it has made me feel passion for life again. I wake up in the morning and feel excited to be a part of the day for me and I want you to feel that way too!! You are capable of taking control you only need the courage to ask for help!

If you have any questions about the program please don't hesitate to contact me here!

www.jeskaalee.com

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BE PRESENT

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Have you ever found yourself in a social situation out with friends and you are all sitting on your mobile phones not talking? I almost instantly want to put my phone down if this ever happens and make everyone do the same. Or have you ever been having a conversation with someone to realize you're just talking to yourself because they are engulfed by what is happening on their Instagram feed? Have you ever sat down to have a quick look over what is going on with your social media and wasted an hour scrolling pointlessly, only to then maybe feel sorry for yourself for comparing your life to someone elses life.

I am sure these situations and more have happened to you at some stage with either friends, family or partners. I can't sit here writing that I haven't been the one to do some of those above things too, I am guilty. But I can say in the recent months I have taken note of myself doing those things and made sure I am using my phone for the right reasons at the right time.

I want to ensure I am not missing out on beautiful moments by not being present in them but rather try to record or photograph them. So that is why I wanted to share with you some great ideas for becoming more present not only with others but also with yourself.

PHONE FREE CATCH UPS:
When you organise to catch up with friends or your partner try turning off your phone, or sitting them in a pile in the middle of the table and not touching them until you leave. Sit there and talk about your day, listen to what others have to say, enjoy the food your eating and let your senses take in the moment.

LEAVE YOUR PHONE AT HOME:
I practiced this a couple of times when I went to Bali recently. Being such a beautiful place I wanted to photograph things in the places we went but I also didn't want to get too engulfed in trying to capture and share everything as it was happening without enjoying it so I left my phone at home when we went out a couple of times.

GO A WEEKEND WITHOUT SOCIAL MEDIA:
Get outdoors and take in everything you see! Jump in the ocean, go for a run, breathe in deep, hug someone, play with your dog, read a book, laugh until your stomach hurts and be one with the world, yourself and others.

DO AN ACTIVITY WITHOUT TAKING A PHOTO:
We live in a world of Snapchat and Instagram stories which has it's positive and it's negatives. We can easily share our day and adventures with friends and fans. But we can also get caught up in photographing everything without actually just enjoying it. For example the food you eat out, try and enjoy the food for what it is.. delicious, beautifully displayed, nourishing and sometimes naughty.

PRESENCE IS BETTER THAN PRESENTS:
I write about this one as it is nearly Christmas which to me means spending time with family, being thankful and enjoying goooood food.

I hope that if you are reading this and you struggle to be present or someone in your life does that it can help you or them if you pass it on to find the best ways to come back to the real world to just enjoy it and be present in all it's goodness!


WWW.JESKAALEE.COM

"WHEREVER YOU ARE, BE ALL THERE".
- JIM ELLIOT

www.jeskaalee

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REAL LIFE BEAUTY

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A lot of you may have read a little about my self love journey over the years here on my blog or over on my Instagram or you may be tuning in right now for the very first time. Self love for me is something I work on every day and it can some days be super easy and then some days well, not so much.. depending on what life throws my way!

I think many of us can agree this day and age we can be very much affected by the world of social media and the images thrown at us ranging from insta models, to people in magazines, to people we see on tv and even things said verbally in real life (Yup there is a real world not just the social media one). All of these factors can really sway the way we feel about ourselves if we let it and I can put my hand up and say in the past it really affected me and some days I do still catch myself comparing myself to others.

Comparing your journey or comparing yourself with another can be unhealthy and an unrealistic goal as a lot of what we see in the media and social world is skewed to look "perfect" and altered from reality.. not all, but a lot of it! Now I am not saying you can't look up to people and be inspired by people you see online as I am inspired everyday by different people I follow but it is not my goal to be them, or have their life.. I take cue from their positive vibes, get inspired by their way of life and put that positive energy into my own. For me if I find myself feeling affected by someone I just stop following or remove them from my physical world or I change the way I view them.

This visual generation we are in has taught a lot of us to only focus on the physicals of people rather than focusing on the beauty of personality, the beauty of thought and the beauty of the heart all combined. It might sound corny but I think the world is better with a little corny and a little old school.

Audrey Hepburn nailed beauty on the head with this quote.. "The beauty of a woman is not in her clothes she wears, the future that she carries, or the way she her combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eye, because the doorway to her heart,the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows and the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years".

My message to you today is to embrace your own beauty and work toward becoming the best version of yourself.. I wrote an E-book a while back now but it's free and it may help you if you are struggling with the above situation!


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LET'S BE REAL

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I was recently having a little scroll through my Facebook feed this week past at all the cute puppy videos and people making fools of themselves on youtube clips (which I must admit they do keep me a little entertained and can brighten my day).. But I am bringing my procrastination on Facebook to light for a reason as it does sometimes lead to some really interesting articles shared by my friends of friends of friends.. you catch my drift.

Without continuing to beat around the bush I am getting straight to it.. I came across a a video post about Anxiety "Things About Anxiety Noone Talks About" and so that is what I am dedicating this post to. I for one have suffered from anxiety and still do on occasion and I am more than happy to openly speak about it if it will help someone else out with the same or similar struggle. I am me and if people can't accept the real me then they do not deserve a space in my world full stop.

This is the link to the video I saw on Facebook and I feel it definitely pin points what anxiety can feel like.. if you are feeling those things there is nothing wrong with you and you definitley are not alone!

I used to be scared, ashamed or embarrassed to have anxiety and would do anything in my power to avoid admitting that it was a part of my life. A lot of you reading this can probably relate to this feeling even if not for anxiety but for something similar that hangs over you that you may not be proud of, or you do not have the courage to admit to yourself.

The key for myself was admitting it to myself.. not anyone else, but me. I had to come to terms that it was something real and something that I needed to learn how to deal with. I had to want to help myself so that I could understand myself more and understand why I was feeling the way I was feeling. At first I just spoke with my mum about it as she has also suffered from anxiety from time to time so I knew she would understand and a couple of close friends.. But it still didn't completely stop me from having those thoughts and feelings. 

It got to a point where I felt as though I had to speak to someone who wasn't a part of my world, someone who had no idea who I was but would be able to help me take control.. I built up the courage, I got a referral and I opened up to a therapist about how I was feeling and asked her to help me figure out the best way to understand how I was feeling and the best ways to deal with it. The main thing I learnt was that anxiety does not define me as a person, it was just something that I had to learn to deal with and so that is what I did with a little extra help from someone who had an understanding of what I was going through whom had the right advice, experience and tools to help me out. 

I now kick myself for putting off chatting to a therapist for so long as I was scared to admit it to myself or worried about what other people would think but it was one of the best things that I could have done for myself - I now have a better understanding of anxiety, myself and the best way to deal with it if it pops up and I am not ashamed to speak about it as it really isn't a shameful thing! 

Remember you are never alone in how you are feeling.. someone will always be able to relate to you, someone will always be able to help you, someone will always be there to listen to you. You just need to take that very first step to ask for help so you can learn to be the best version of you.. Always be real with yourself and live your truth!

Oh and PS// Another blogger I love to follow Jessica Emily also recently opened up about her experience with anxiety and depression here  ..Go girl, lets make it okay to talk about this stuff!


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